I know that my cohort gave her perspective on the topic of children with post “the kid problem,” well here’s my perspective on the same topic. For my baby dilemma came when I was entering into my thirties and that question came right at me. I was little shocked but my response was quite funny, I was visiting my mom that summer and we went out to eat at a local restaurant. There was a local who was just elated for they were just first time grandparents, well she came over to our table (which was okay because this was long before COVID) showing us pictures of that little darling, then they replied “You know Allison your biological clock is ticking.” I was slightly distracted and replied “ As long as it ticking it doesn’t mean it’s dead.” Up until that point it had never occurred to me that body was somehow a ticking time bomb, or was I even considering motherhood at that time. I was just trying to live life, like most young single people do, then I got worried over something that wasn’t concerning me. Why do we do that? Why is society still so obsessed over motherhood and making it an ordeal for women? Let’s just stop.
Seriously we are living in the 21st century why are we sticking to ancient notions? Haven’t women championed the right to vote, to be allowed the pill, why is motherhood our Achilles heel?! Seriously our society is not going to crumble if some of us choose not to be mother’s! So why the unnecessary pressure on women’s uterus to breed or not. Why as society are we fine with putting that pressure on women? Our femininity shouldn’t be structured on whether or not we want to bear children, adopt, foster a child. We need to stop thinking that a women worth or validation is that of motherhood. We don’t try to make men be accountable on fatherhood to extent as we do women!
There are many reasons for allowing biological clocks to tick. Which is a woman’s right to do. Like my cohort described her issues on whether or not it’s right for her and her partner. Yes, like her I am in a committed relationship, and yes, we have talked about children. No, we are not “trying” for a baby, yes I know am nearing forty, I am fine! We have to also consider health perhaps there is health issues where many women have to suffer in silence, and when you put the pressure of fertility on her fragile state it might be the breaking point. Or maybe like myself, when I was addressed a few years ago, I was living life wasn’t even thinking motherhood because it wasn’t on her horizon. We should all be happy to live our life.
Yes, as a Christian I understand that I should “ Go forth and multiply” However if you were raised like a only child as I was entering a committed relationship is multiplying. So if I somehow get stripped from entering heaven because I didn’t necessarily go forth and multiply then that’s obviously a dilemma for Christ and I to address. However don’t shame a woman of faith because she hasn’t pursued motherhood. Sarah was elderly woman when Christ blessed her with Isaac, Hannah prayed and prayed for years before being blessed with Samuel. God prepares us when he know that we are ready to receive his blessing. Perhaps her blessing is to be Auntie or Sister figure rather than mother. The one thing am going state is she is NOT less in her faith because she hasn’t been blessed with a child!
We are not less of being a woman because we are undecided over motherhood. We not less of a women if we choose to have a career. We are not less of woman because we decide with our partner we don’t want a family. I am not shamming you, if you are a mother, I’m not shamming you if we’re or are teenage mother. What I’m trying to stress is choice! It’s okay if our choice is undecided!! The point I want to stress the most is motherhood should be a wanted affair. It’s not up to us the outsider to decide we should all be supportive on either decision.
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